Letter dated June 29, 1935, Ned Scott to Gwladys von Ettinghausen
from the Hassayampa Mountain Club in Prescott, Arizona.
Hassayampa Mountain Club
June 29th, 1935
Gladys Darling---- The trip was not so bad---in fact it was rather delightful---there was quite a wind up in the desert making the otherwise suffocating trip bearable---we arrived at four in the morning---just as the Eastern blue was becoming lighter---such shades of blue---so typical of this country---it was a gorgeous dawn and I was so tired.
My mind is a blank and I feel such a complete let-down all over me---it is strange what happens to me in that melting pot of all that is creative---it is exacting and thrills a certain part of me and the other rebels---and so erutpion after eruption occurs within until only the structure remains. The battle is intriguing however and no doubt my return will be in order sometime soon---who knows---
My darling---your sweetness and beauty---the richness of your words---the deep beauty in your eyes---it is all so close---and the sensation is a new one---to me. Doors that have been firmly shut for years are beginning to creak again and I am at a loss to know what to do. There is so much that should have been said before we parted---but I think you know anyway---words so often flatten that which is fully blown and real---I have a job to do now that is one of the most important---the results will only be apparent to me however---afterwards I can be selfish again---.
I hear that we may be able to move into the ranch sooner than expected. Jack is already there and the previous owner is on his way out. It is possible we may move around July 10th. Ellen thinks she will have to go East just to look into some stuff that has been in storage for years---and also she wants her piano sent out which incidentally is a “honey”---to use one of my newly acquired expressions!!! It's about 50 years old---Steinway---size next the concert grand and has a tone never heard in modern pianos. If we should drive East---and you should be free at the moment---how would you like to join us? It is also possible my father's apartment will be empty in which case we would not have to pay hotel bills. It is only a supposition though and there must be countless letters exchanged before we can make up our minds. I would so love to see my child again—altho that is something I must decide---since my erstwhile better half does not think me a suitable papa it might be the wisest course to make up my mind that I shall never see the child again—that is—wisest for the child. I never did tell you the contents of the separation agreement---it is a masterpiece of legal prejudice and I signed it at a time when I would have signed anything to be let loose---I was an awful fool---the strings are so thoroughly tied---and so are my hands---.
But---the world today is very beautiful and I am very happy---and I wonder if you realize it one---one hundreth---the part you have played to make it so. There is a you in all that I love and in all that has substance and perhaps the strangeness of this new world will persist---I want it to but but I am just a little afraid to think---such things have always been so elusive---when clutched at they so easily evaporate---